Troy

The most expensive movie ever greenlit? Who knows, but the important thing for the studio must have been – is the money on the screen?! Well with a starry cast and battle sequences that rival The Return of the King in places, you’ve got to say yes.

But is it any good? Yes…but only in places. Having said that it’s fantastic in places. But it’s also dreadful in places. I’ll talk through each bit, without trying to spoil the (3000 year+) story.

What the film makers have done is meshed together elements and style from Gladiator (including a couple of nicked lines!), Lord of the Rings and the older epic movies (Ben Hur et al). This works when they employ tricks from the more recent films, but when they dabble in the stagey acting and stilted movement from the older films it falls down – Hector and Paris’ early return to Troy feels very slow and oddly directed when you contrast it with Achilles’ first fight scene. Most of this style is lost towards the second half of the film, and you’re left with the modern epic style of grandiose camera movements and terrific CGI. Thank the Gods.

The script has taken a bit of a hammering from some quarters – certainly those that have studied the source material (The Iliad). Whether you want to get bogged down in this ‘problem’ is up to you, but all I’ll say is, as a film – which this is – it works for the most part. The Gods are left out of the film in a physical sense, and although some characters do mention them, the script could have been cleverer at employing their use – certainly for the most famous moment of Troy and how that troublesome horse ended up inside the gates. Here the idea of it is dealt with so clumsily you’ll think you’re watching a Hallmark special. One thing they get bang on though is Achilles’ death by his famous weak spot – without referencing that he was the son of a God, you can see how the myth sprang up as the soldiers surround his body.

That big name cast has attracted all the attention though of course, and Brad Pitt leads the way as the biggest ‘marquee’ name. Trouble is he’s not quite up to the job. Don’t get me wrong, I think he’s a good actor and one that tries to make interesting choices. The trouble with the Troy script for Brad though is that Achilles comes across as a petulant sulk, and it’s Hector that rises as the ‘hero’. What Brad does especially well though, which the girls AND boys will enjoy, is that he moves and fights like a warrior. In one showdown, he’s as bold as a lion as he strides away from his felled opposition. But he’s no Crowe, and it feels lacking in places. Perhaps he wasn’t given good direction, perhaps he was bored of waiting for the massive shots to be set up, but this isn’t a vintage Brad role in the style of Fight Club.
As mentioned, it’s Eric Bana that steals the glory, and maybe it’s the Australian thing, but he brings a certain air of rugged and weary to the screen that will have him winning fans as Crowe did with LA Confidential and Hugh Jackman with X Men. Forget the Hulk role; this is the one that will springboard him onto a lot of producers wish-lists.
Others don’t fare as well, with Orlando being perfect as a wimpy young upstart in the face of more considerable talent. He’s got something that Bloom boy, but he’s gonna have start learning to act fairly soon before his moment of fame is troubled. His dad (in the film at least) is played by one of the old guard, Sir Peter O’Toole. For my money he sleepwalks through most of it, and there’s some awful staring he does from his throne which the camera just…keeps… closing…in… on…for…an…uncomfortably…long…time. He does have one scene where he’s allowed to something more than ignore his son’s advice, and it’s here that he’s better, but it’s just one moment of glory amongst several nodding scenes. They were clearly going for a Richard Harris/Gladiator thing here, but they don’t quite manage the gravitas.
Brian Cox as the ‘bad guy’ is no new thing, and he’s clearly enjoying his moment of Hollywood love relishing every scene he’s in, even if he does look a bit clumsy steering a chariot. That other actor who’s grabbed the chance to be a character actor in Hollywood, Brendan Gleeson, is doing very well at convincing me he’s actually a good actor to watch. I never used to like him, but in recent years he’s been cropping up and putting in good shows, and here is no exception. He and Cox even look like brothers (as do Bloom and Bana) and so it works very well. Sean Bean wanders in and out looking a bit dazed, and his Sheffield delivery of the Gladiator rip-off lines is amusing enough, but in a terrible piece of acting and direction, the aforementioned ‘realisation’ of the wooden horse idea is just plain lazy.
The only other male on set worthy of mention (and not a good one) is the guy playing Brad’s cousin. He’s quite simply awful. Tries to hard, and embarrasses himself in the face of far superior talent. Why they didn’t get someone better and more ‘hot but cheap’ is anyone’s guess. For me, I would have had someone like James Franco (appearing in the Spiderman franchise), but they never ask me who to cast…the fools.
There’s the boys…
Whoever cast the girls, and in particular Helen – the most beautiful woman in the world remember – must have been asleep in the casting, because they couldn’t have got each part more wrong. Helen’s not a dog, but she’s no real beauty either and it’s such an important part of the story that I’m amazed they settled for an unknown who can’t act for toffee. Saffron Burrows pokes her weird eye face around, and you can almost understand why Eric Bana walked outside the gates to have a punch up with Brad – just to get away from her. Then there’s Brad’s love interest which has caused a lot of publicity – it’s almost as if he never had a kiss on screen before – who knows why they picked the young girl that did the deed in the end, the only thing going for her from what I can see is that she resembles Bana/Bloom in appearance (she plays their cousin), but not in a beauty way though, just a resemblance of dark curly hair. Nevertheless, all the girls give the horse a run for its money as the most ‘wooden’.

It is a ‘must see’ film, but it wont become an instant classic in the way that Gladiator and Braveheart have achieved.