Star Wars 3

So, like , I get this call on my cellphone. "It's George" says the voice. "Clooney?" I reply salivating at the prospect - he's promised me a hogroast when his potbellied pig dies you see...

"No, the other one" says the voice.
"No, the other George" the voice said.
"George C Scott?! I thought were dead? Loved Patton, what was Coppola like to work with?"
There was a deadly silence. Then a growl.

"Lucas. George freaking Lucas."
"Oh!!! My!!! Gawd!!!" I said casually. But what did he want? To tell me that the Indiana Jones 4 draft was finished? No. The address of Jar Jar Binks, so I can have him assassinated? No. A scoop about Howard the Duck 2? Alas, no.

Dear friends, he wanted me to see a shaky video copy of Star Wars 3, the title of which I can't repeat here. (Oh, alright then - 'The Force Becomes All Dark') - exciting huh!

I meet one of George's assisstants in a shady motel, and we settle down in the half tiled bathroom to watch the movie on his portable DVD - the way movies are supposed to be seen!!!

Can't tell you much, but what I will say is the film is beautiful. The colours are so rich, and the special effects are just that. They even make Hayden Christensen look like he can act in this one! Amazing advancement of ILM's power.
Natalie Portman looks...

Sorry, had to pop off to the toilet for a moment. Yeah, Natalie looks lush, but still bored. Bet she can't wait for Leon 2 - I loved her in the first one. Er, not like that though, she was only 12. But she was...

Sorry, back again. Chewbaccas was amazing! He looked the same, but was shorter. His barks werent quite as deep either. The droids are back, and there's a wonderful scene that explains how C3PO became gay.

PLOT SPOILER!!!
I'm bursting to tell you this, but dont read on if you want to remain a story virgin.
Senator Palpatine IS The Emperor! He's the bad guy!!!

PLOT SPOILER 2!!!
Anakin Skywalker becomes, I can barely type this I'm so excited, he's Darth Vader from those other films that Lucas did - how Tarantino is that?! Love the way he puts his characters in each of his movies.

Yes Harold, but is it worth seeing I hear you ask? Well, did you see The Attack of the Clones EVEN though you had seen The Phantom Menace? Well, there's your answer.

7/5 (I got loads of freebies off Lucasfilm you see).