Hellboy

A pet project of its helmer for many years, HELLBOY is based on a fan favourite graphic novel by Mike Mignola. It focuses on a red skinned demon who was originally summoned by the war weary Nazis to aid their campaign. In infancy, Hellboy is rescued and raised in secret by ‘the good guys’. Flash-forward and we witness an all out attempt to re-enlist the adult Hellboy back into the bad guys camp to spearhead a present day attack on all civilisation.

Whilst I appreciate I’m not HELLBOY’s target audience (I have breasts and am in a relationship), that didn’t stop me from relishing the recent mutant phenomena of the Olsen twins. I mean X-Men. And though HELLBOY looked promising on paper (thanks to the proven horror artistry of Spanish man-mountain Guillermo Del Toro) it sadly fails to deliver little more than a mild yawning fit.
True, Ron Perlman does look freakishly natural as the Nazi-summoned demon and yet he’s given painfully un-natural wisecracks, they remind you that it is only Ron Perlman in make-up.

The movie’s other slap-jobs are equally impressive such as Doug Jones’ fish-faced Abe Sapian (undermined by a diploma from the C-3PO School of Acting) and the awesome nazi assassin who manages to be deeply evil without the aid of lips or eye-lids. The young Hellboy for example is expertly rendered, as is the shimmery green underwater sequence that is reminiscent of Big G’s art-house roots. Fans of Cronos and The Devil’s Backbone will take delight in one of the films highlights in which our heroes resurrect a crusty old dead guy.

In fact it’s only when the practical effects are abandoned in favour of average looking CGI that the film sinks below acceptable. Selma Blair comes off looking like an ad for British Gas and, along with the rest of the cast, lacks the gravitas that the X-men seem to eXude. Surely we’re beyond plummy English Profs and panto villains by now. Granted, voicing otherwise silent graphic characters can prove tricky, maybe this is something Del Boy can rectify before 2006, and the slated release of HELLBOY 2.

Given that Del Toro has only one critical blot on his note book, in the shape of 1997’s Mimic, and that the risky Blade II was a resounding success, maybe he was overdue for a filmic fumble. HELLBOY, let’s hope is his one misstep this decade.