Art Of War, The (Wide Screen)

Dear Wesley Snipes,

I am writing to you in reference to The Art of War, which I have just watched.

Can I say how disappointed I am that you persist in churning out so-so films, when you have done some good ones and shown that you have a bit more about you than doing kung-fu and staring at other actors looking sullen.

It’s not that they are terrible movies, it’s just they’re not very good. Take the Art of War for instance. What could have been a nice little international conspiracy thriller becomes a by the numbers excuse for you to bounce around on your toes as a fugitive – you already did that in US Marshalls! Granted, you seem to be putting more effort in than your co-stars Anne Archer (way too obvious what her character was doing, after all she shuffled papers for the first hour – but nice not casting her as ‘the wife’, I bet that confused her agent!) and the white beard known as Donald Sutherland (who seems to relish being bored in rubbish films rather than capitlising on his movie star status, especially now his son is doing rather well again). As for Navy Seals Michael Biehn – how surprised were we to find out he wasn’t killed in the opening sequence after all! Clue: Not very surprised.

What was all that business with the terrible Oriental actress? There you were playing it cool, delivering your lines professionally, and there’s her – responding to you like she was in a different movie altogether. I don’t know whether to blame her or the director, but both were rubbish. Surround yourself with talent. Get a good script. Don’t be afraid that Blade will be your only great film. Get out there, and leave this kind of nonsense to Eric Roberts.

Yours Sincerely,

Tyler Durden.

PS: In case you were wondering, I thought the Art of War was ok.
But only just.