Jo Brand Barely Live is an absolutely straightforward record of a stand-up gig, with no frills at all, which is all you need from a comic such as Jo Brand. Here we get a coherent view of life, vigorously expressed: no wild flights of comic invention, but lots of sardonic bitching about men, feminism, weight problems and an absolute refusal to pretend to be nice or girly or polite.

This London gig includes Brand's views on What Not to Wear, incontinence and improved types of Barbie doll. She talks about having small children and about what to think about when having sex with your husband (among other things, she recommends trying to list the cast of The Magnificent Seven). This is alternative comedy with everything exactly as advertised on the packet--it's also painfully real and funny. --Roz Kaveney

Over the years, many film directors have attempted to tell the story of legendary 15th-century heroine Joan of Arc, a simple country girl who claimed she was inspired by God to lead the French troops in a victorious assault on the mighty English army. Luc Besson's 1999 epic might not be the best version of her life, but it's certainly the biggest. The movie cost a reported $60 million. Even if you are terminally unimpressed by the scale of such recent blockbusters as Gladiator, your eyes will pop out at the sheer number of bodies (living and dead) that Besson has assembled for the dynamic battle scenes. The lavish sets and costumes are almost equally gobsmacking, though neither will show to maximum advantage on the small screen. That's a pity because size is the only thing Joan of Arc really has going for it--as a human drama, it falls completely flat.

The historical Joan was eventually made a saint by the Catholic Church, and earlier biopics tended to treat her celestial visions as literal fact. It was probably a mistake for Besson and his co-screenwriter Andrew Birkin to take a more psychological approach and present them as figments of her hysterical imagination. It makes it hard to work up the necessary empathy when the spectacle revolves around a confused and neurotic babe who couldn't organise a Tupperware party, let alone a vast military campaign. Milla Jovovich (the star of Besson's previous The Fifth Element and formerly his wife) doesn't help matters with her shrill and amateurish performance. But a couple of the supporting players are passably amusing--John Malkovich camps it up energetically as Charles, the dispossessed French king whom Joan reinstates, while Faye Dunaway wears outlandish headgear and carries on like a science-fiction creation in the role of his scheming mother-in-law. (The less said the better about Dustin Hoffman's pompous turn as Joan's personified conscience.) Besson keeps to the same glossy visual style even when the Maid is burning at the stake, but it isn't enough to prevent this empty shell of a movie from being a colossal yawn. --Peter Matthews

Losing that extra pound can be the most gruelling task. Not anymore, as Joanna Hall teaches you some of the most simple methods to get rid of the unnecessary fat.