MAN ON FIRE review by Fletch...

Man on Fire - Where do I start?

This movie is definitely on my films of the year list as Tony Scott delivers a production of great power and uncompromising vision. With a lead actor who is willing to take risks, Denzel delivers a career best performance as Creasy the troubled bodyguard to a Mexican family who struggle to keep their daughter safe in the country where kidnapping is a daily occurrence.

As the film opens you say to yourself “I’m going to enjoy this” but after it finishes you don’t realise just how much it has consumed you with such emotion over the previous two and a half hours. Relentless with its execution and realistic without the Hollywood sheen, it manages to fire you up in your seat.

Denzel Washington post Oscar has chosen well with this, and Manchurian Candidate to follow proves his standing in the circles of leading men. Tony Scott (as he did in Crimson Tide) taps the best out of him as Creasy, controlled by alcohol (Creasy, not Tony) and with no care of life, he meets Pita the small girl he’s employed to protect. Pita’s family are connected in Mexico - and a family of wealth is a target as the bounty can run into the millions - so Creasy is trusted to keep her safe.

This is where the film begins as the two main characters bond and Pita helps Creasy come out of his shell and survive the bottle. He becomes the parent she is wants for, but things get flipped on their head as corruption and deceit rear their ugly head and all that is on Creasy’s mind is revenge and redemption.

Without including major spoilers, I don’t want to say anymore. All I do say is you must see it to find out what happens because what follows is terrific stuff.

With a back catalogue better than most, Tony Scott’s latest is one of his best (and that is some statement coming from the man who shaped my movie going in the 80’s and 90’s with Top Gun, True Romance, Crimson Tide and Enemy Of The State to name but a few) and here he delivers once again. Style is apparent from frame one and his final cut is what is on screen as the filters and hand held camera are reminiscent of Traffic or 24’s last series.

Some may criticise the script being too ‘Bruckheimer’ in places but I love all that as it just adds to the cinematic feel. The rest of the cast are all great with Christopher Walken rising to the top as Creasy’s best buddy who brings him into the job and little Dakota Fanning who in the past has been so wrong in her films, here she actually keeps this film together and comes across as Jodie Foster did in Taxi Driver (yes as good as that!) stealing the show.

Man on Fire is a truly great film that will go down as a classic in my house - one to watch again and then to buy on DVD - this kind of film doesn’t come around too often. Violent and graphic might turn some people off, but at times you need to show that to get the point across and here it adds to the intensity as the fire burns…

Go and see it as it demands your attention…

5/5

FAT SLAGS review by Fletch...

Oh dear!

What can I say about this film that is a positive?
Well at least it ends quickly!

Awful - absolutely dreadful British cinema that is embarrassing to watch so lord knows what it must feel like to be involved!!!

Fat Slags is a Viz cartoon strip that for the side of an A4 Sheet of paper works fine as the format dictates, but as an 80 minute film – What are you thinking! Who decided “I know I know let’s make this into a movie?” I bet you’re regretting it now!!!

The concept of this film (if you care) is about two factory workers - Sharon and Tracy - who go on the Trisha show and are spotted by a concussed media tycoon who wants them to be the image of the future, and asks them to come to London and work for him. Fashion shows and photo shoots follow as you wince in your seat and question what the hell you are watching. But, alas, the life of ‘northern lass’ calls them as they temporarily fall out (as they both want to shag the tycoon! – Nice) and decide the high life isn’t for them and go back home (Newcastle – I think) to their boyfriends and kebab dinners. Are you hooked? Do you want to see more? Well if you do I am shocked, but each to their own!!!

The two leads are unknown (one is from Smack the Pony and the other is from Coronation Street) and get this - they are both in fat suits! You know the sumo suits you can hire for parties etc etc. Well the producers thought to add realism they would get the two main characters in them! – I can’t carry on, this is so awful remembering it again! The cast is made up of loads of cameos and has-beens that this reviewer can’t recall all of them but Geri Halliwell is fantastic as the PA to Jerry Connell who plays the tycoon with a bump on his head…
JOKE, she is bloody terrible.

Ed Bye, who made Guesthouse Paradiso (which was another dreadful brit flick), made this and one has to wonder how he keeps working if this is the kind of tosh he is churning out. Shot on VHS I think, this film has loads of tacky wipes and dissolves into the next embarrassing scene with plinky plonk music all over it to remind you that you are having fun – ‘la la la’.

Will the Daily Star readers like it? Well comparisons to Sex Lives of the Potato Men (that came out earlier this year which was slated by nitro-movies.com quite rightfully), I would have to say that Fat Slags is even worse. It’s worse because you can’t quite believe it got made without any question of who its target audience would be and now it has been finished, if ever there was a straight to blockbuster title more it is this one.

Avoid – Do not see this film and if you ignore me then more the fool you !


0/5 (A first on nitro).